Monday was so horrible.

i woke up late. I had packed everything last night and as the 1pm time rolled around I got a call that my flight was cancelled. I was so damn distraught. I wanted nothing than to be next to my lady and there was another hurricane coming. What was God doing? I spent the day alone in my studio just doing aimless work trying to keep my head numb but offering up prayers and questions to the skies. Susan and Larry said she was going into her first surgery on her upper neck and very dangerous 12 hour surgery. Come to find out Tuesday that it was successful and only took 8 hours. Thank God! I tried on Jef's recommendation to come over and eat something. Whitney and I went over and I started drinking fast. Soon as I knew it I was drunk, not having anything to eat all day, and walking outside to run away. I have been crying all the time and I just had to leave. Nothing seemed of importance except Nicole in my life. The stupid elections, the damn hurricane, everything that was in my face. Whitney took me back up to the Studio in tears and I once again resumed doing aimless shit to keep me off thinking. Matt Wender came up later and drank me stupid. We walked around in the rain that was Gustav, nothing more than rain. Why my flight couldn't leave was killing me. I stayed up late but I don't know what time I went to sleep. I hate to say that I drank to forget, but its all i could do till I got there.